My six year old son is a classic for coming out with hilarious comments and sayings, including memorable mal-a-props that are simply down to him mis-hearing a single letter in a word. He came out with a corker yesterday that I hope will cheer you up and make you laugh on this damp dishcloth of a day.“Mummy”
“Yes, my love”
“Does sixty mean attractive?”
Like other children, his timing is always impeccable; typically when you’re about to step out the door for the school run, already running 5 minutes late and you’ve just remembered they’re supposed to be dressed up as a pirate (yes, that did happen, and yes, I DID get him to school looking like a darn good pirate, thank you).
This time it was within our 10 minute window before leaving the house for school in which we need to do all the brushing of teeth/hair, coat and shoe putting on, daughter flailing about for that homework that should have been put in the book bag last night kind of time. In this instance, I was doing my daughter’s hair, attempting to get it into a semblance of tidy beauty in two minutes flat. Having just been washed her hair was rather slippy. Think attempting to put a small slippery octopus into a plastic bag (truly, I really have seen a woman do this in a food market in the south of France when I was seven years old. I’ve never forgotten it.)
Now, where was I? Oh yes…
‘Mummy, you’re not listening! Does sixty mean attractive?”
“Er, what do you mean, love?”, wondering what on earth he was on about.
“Well, E (his friend) says that it must mean that because in Gangnam Style he sings ‘Heeeey, sixty lady!”
My daughter and I fell about with laughter, whilst trying not to embarrass the poor boy (we have a policy of no question being too silly to ask in our house).
“No, no, it’s SEXY!”, his sister helpfully points out.
And then came the obvious next question.
“What’s sexy, Mummy?”
“Er… well, it’s when a woman or man is attractive to another woman or man. Like, when a woman has big boobs or something.”
Oh crikey, did I actually say that?! What was I thinking of? What have I done to the boy’s attitude to bosoms or to women who aren’t well endowed? (well, as I’m one of them, he should be ok). Will he now go round remarking on any woman with an abundant chest size that she’s a ‘sexy lady’?!
“It’s hard to explain,” I went on, trying to undo the poor explanation. “You’ll understand better when you’re older”. Yes, I trotted out that age-old refrain that I try so desperately not to. In my experience as a kid that phrase was peculiarly annoying and rarely very enlightening.
Thankfully, he seemed satisfied, and no further questions ensued as I finished off the hair and scooted them downstairs.
Isn’t this one of the top requisites of being a parent – answering the hardest questions on earth at the most inopportune time? Like the time he wanted to know if it’s ok to have babies if you’re not married (asked whilst I was negotiating the busiest roundabout in town), and how the banking system works (no, he’s not a precocious brat, he just wanted to know what ‘interest’ was and why we’d give our money to strangers who’d then lend them to other strangers… and he’s asking me?!)
So, what are the funniest, toughest questions you’ve been flummoxed with by your kids? Drop me a comment and let us all have a laugh.
Whilst you’re thinking about that check out this YouTube video of a real granny dancing Gangnam Style: (note the other oldies in the room who are totally ignoring her and doing what respectable oldies do – writing letters!)